A while back, I was discussing politics with
a good friend of mine. I can’t even remember what we were discussing, but I
remember him saying, “Chanell, you have to understand that not everyone in the
country thinks like you do. The west coast is completely different from
everywhere else in the country.” Then he proceeded to go into his “Californians
need to experience other states” rant. And as a caveat, I should mention that
he is a Californian but spent 2008 travelling across the country, working hard
to get Obama elected. At the time, I was annoyed by his patronizing attitude –
of course I know that not everyone thinks like California.
And now, I offer my apologies. My good
friend, you were right. Being a part of this internship program has introduced
me to people from Pennsylvania to Texas to Alabama to Florida. And I cannot
believe how different people think, speak, and see the world we live in. Since
I <3 lists – here’s another one for you – things that Chanell is learning
from being outside of California.
Accents
A couple of years ago, I was watching Food, Inc. And in the documentary, they interview Joel Salatin, prolific (although sexist) American farmer who raises his livestock himself and sells them directly to customers. I mean, throughout the interview you can tell that this man is smart and knows his farming inside-and-out. But his accent was so thick. To be honest, I couldn’t even take him seriously because it was thick. (Edit: I was watching with another native Californian who was of similar mindset as me – we were both thinking, “God this man is brilliant. But his accent is ridiculous!”) Fast forward to my time in DC and everyone has an accent. One of my friends in the internship says, “I’m hongry.” That’s how she pronounces hungry. HONG-RY. When I asked another friend where someone was at, she said, “Oh him. He ova dere.” Yes. That's how she said it. DERE = THERE. Liberry = Library. Axe = Ask. There are literally millions of words that sound different in the South. And it’s perfectly normal. In fact, I actually come off as ‘too formal’ because I over-pronounce everything.
Post Script: My mother (who’s from Jackson, Mississippi) has been vindicated! When she came to California, everyone corrected her on pretty much everything she said. MAY-oh-naise was really MAN-naise. Axe was ask. You get the idea. Unfortunately, as I got older and got schooled in California phonics, I corrected my mom too. When I told her about the accents here, she said, “I told you! It’s all pronounced differently depending on where you come from. In the South, we have a lazy tongue so we say certain words differently.” She went on to tell me how it stung to have people correct you all the time. And how it made her self-conscious about the way she spoke. Oh, and she made me promise not to correct anyone here. So mom, I officially get it now. As I am currently identified as ‘the Californian’ who talks funny (or too formally or too white), I realize that language is not static. And it stings every time someone says, “You talk white.” Or “Why you so formal all the time.” We all pronounce things differently depending on where we’re from. And goddamnit, that’s ok. I don’t need to correct how you say anything because my way isn’t necessarily the right way.*
Nicknames
So as I mentioned before, I’ve been hanging out with Ebonie (she’s from Baltimore but lives in North Carolina) and another woman named Ashley (who’s also from Baltimore). Okay, craziest shit ever: they have family members (e.g. cousins, aunts, etc) who go by their nicknames to the point where they (Ashley and Ebonie) don’t know their real names. Let me say that one more time, they have family members who go by their nicknames to point where Ebonie and Ashley don’t know the person’s real name?! How you don’t know your family members’ real names goes beyond my scope of understanding. But apparently it’s a Baltimore thing (not the nickname thing – I mean I have family who only goes by nicknames – but not knowing your family members real name). Ebonie has a cousin Bo, an Aunt Peaches, and an Uncle Man. She doesn’t know any of their real names. Similarly, Ashley has a homegirl who goes by Buttah (not Butter, but Buttah), an Uncle Man (apparently this is a popular name), and a cousin Mookie. She knew her homegirl Buttah’s real name (which has now escaped me) but had no idea what Uncle Man or cousin Mookie’s real name was. WTF.
Race Relations
As a self-professed equal opportunist when it comes to race (and I mean this in the sense that I’ll date and befriend anyone), I don’t really have a category for self-segregation. But it’s completely different here. I was talking to someone today about happy hours – specifically finding a good bar with good deals. And he said, Adams Morgan is a great spot to go but all the black people kick it on one side and all the white people kick it on the other side. And this is completely through self-selection. OR I was talking with some folks in the program (a mixture of whites and blacks from the South, and one Asian who’s from the Northeast) and the topic of interracial dating came up. None of the black women in the group had ever dated someone outside of their race. Then, the white women observed that black men were ones they saw who seemed to date outside of the race. AND the black women echoed their statement, one of them said, “Black men are the only ones to stray from their race. Everyone else manages to keep to their race.” As odd as this sounds, the fact that the Asian woman is dating a white man didn’t seem to factor into their race analysis. (Perhaps it’s because the Asian woman literally hates all Asians because her strict background and only dates white men??) All I could add to this conversation was that in California, it’s a pretty big melting pot (or at least that’s been my experience).
But in general, there's still some tension between blacks, whites, and historical recollection here. My roommate from Alabama tells me about her childhood and how she didn’t learn about the Civil War until high school because a lot of white Southerners still feel resentful about their loss. My friend Ebonie refused to listen to any of the history on our U.S. Capitol tour because she was felt they lied about the early history of America. I mean, granted the U.S. Capitol folks did their fair share of white-washing early American history, but I tried to explain that they weren’t lying – history is not about the ‘truth’ but about people’s ‘truths’ – but she didn’t seem to understand that. It was as simple as they were 'lyin' - she said she half expected to walk into one room and see a bunch of *expletive* in chains. Wow. Intense.
Sidenotes:
- The weather here is hot. Before I left California, I used say ‘sweltering’ without any idea of what it really means. Now, I can say that I’ve experienced ‘sweltering’ weather – I wake up to 80 degree weather with no breeze. It’s just heat and humidity. I have frizzy hair by the end of the day and every time I walk into air conditioning, I breathe a sigh of relief.
- I haven’t gotten into any political conversations, which is surprising considering that I’m in D.C.
- I have pretty toes right now. They make me happy.
- Traveling is coming up – I’m heading to Atlantic City this weekend. And then I’m heading to New York for a couple of days. I’m excited to explore – I really want to maximize my time here.
- I’m having this weird relationship with homesickness. I do miss California but I also love the respite that D.C. provides. Right now, I honestly feel as though I’m taking a break from my ‘real’ life and living someone else’s. And this makes me both happy and sad.
*Mom, if you read this - don't get mad at me. I just wanted folks to know that how we speak isn't simply a reflection on how we've been brought up but also where we've been brought up.
